So I have been thinking about blogging about my pregnancy journey for a while now. Recently my friend and coach Claire had mentioned that I should, so I figured, why not? I have been scouring the internet since I first learned I was pregnant to read about others experience with their pregnancy and Crossfit. My hope is that I will help at least one other woman that is going through a similar experience by relating to the struggles she may be facing. Today I am 30 weeks pregnant and anxiously awaiting our second girls arrival!
I found out that I was pregnant with my second child almost 6 months ago. I was filled with so many mixed emotions that day. On one hand I felt excitement, I wanted my kids to be close in age and my first was 14 months old so they would be just under 2 years apart. On the other hand, just over 2 years apart was our (or at least my) plan, ha! My husband probably would have been ok with having it happen even a little sooner, but I had taken up my new "hobby" of crossfit just 10 months prior and I of course wanted to schedule the pregnancy around the Crossfit Open. After all this would be my first year to really compete and be able to help our team in the regional rankings.
I am not one of those glowing, love being pregnant kind of women. The first trimester I felt nauseous on a daily basis (although not as bad as I did with my first pregnancy). I still think I might have felt slightly better just because my overall diet going into pregnancy was much better. I ate pretty strict Paleo during the weekdays with some cheats on the weekends prior to pregnancy. In the first trimester, I was able to choke down some veggies and meat on a daily basis, along with some extra carbs I always seemed to be craving which made me gain a few pounds during the first trimester.
My husband and I aren't the type to go tell the world we are pregnant the day we find out. We are a little more conservative and prefer to tell everyone at the end of the first trimester. The hard part about doing this is the first trimester is when you feel the worst, and no one knows. You don't look pregnant and you can't complain about how you feel b/c people may get suspicious. So we went along about 2 weeks and then decided we should at least tell our coaches Chris and Claire. We wanted to be sure we were being safe in my training and also so they knew where I would be when the Open started. I was a little nervous to say anything b/c Claire and I had been training along with a few other girls at our gym and growing excited about our team chances. We knew it still may be a long shot this year but we were getting better and recently had some good athletes join our gym so there was a chance, and now I was going to make that chance more of a long shot knowing I would be in my second trimester by the time the Open started. I first told Claire and she was so excited which made me feel so much better. There wasn't even a hesitation of the excitment, so I told Chris that same day shortly after and he was really happy for us too. Both of them had my baby's and my safety at the forefront of their minds. Not that I would expect any different as they are really amazing people that care more about their athletes than any coaches I know.
And now to the Crossfit Open, which was beginning when I was 14 weeks pregnant. I could go on in great detail about each workout of the open as well as many of the ups and downs throughout the first 2 trimesters, which I will likely continue to reflect back on but since it took me 30 weeks to start blogging I will summarize the best I can. The first week of the the open was the hardest. So much anticipation and excitement as it only comes once a year. In my mind I still expected to do well although I knew I was at a lot less than my best. The first workout would be one that I would be ok but not great at. Snatches were not my strong suit but I was pretty good at double unders and normally my biggest strength was to be able to push through a workout when I feel really tired. That is where the problem lay. My doctor is super supportive of me crossfitting and my workouts. She hasn't put many limitations on me but has said I need to listen to my body. Sounds easy right? Well not so much when all I have known to do is not listen to my body. When I am working out and I think I can't go anymore, that is I go harder. Now, somehow I was just supposed to stop or slow down once I started feeling like that? Well after totally tanking 14.1 with 237 reps I was determined to repeat it on Sunday because I knew I could do better. I showed up with my husband who is also a crossfitter, (and pretty good at it if I might add:) I don't think he was too excited about me doing it again but he is really supportive of whatever I decide and didn't say much. When I got to the gym both Chris and Claire said that I could not repeat it. What?!! Why not? I know I could do much better. Those were the thoughts going through my head, but deep down I knew why and they told me why. They don't think it is a good idea to get in that red zone and that is the zone this type of workout puts you in, especially if I was going to do it better the second time around. I put on my happy, supportive face for everyone else to not let on how devastated I actually felt and judged for others as they strove to better their first score. That night I did some reflecting and it really started to sink in. How could I be so selfish? How could I not put my baby first? I felt so awful that I had completely disregarded that I have the miracle of human life growing inside of me and I was more concerned with improving my 14.1 score. A few days later I went in and thanked Claire (after breaking down in tears) for looking out for me and my baby and not allowing me to repeat that workout. As I said I could go on about the open as each week presented its own physical, emotional, and mental challenges but I was in a much better place after coming to the realization this year's open was just to participate and not to compete. I finished 521 out of 2847 women in our region that completed all 5 workouts and felt proud just to finish them at 18 weeks pregnant.
Well I know the first one got a little long so I will end there and pick up later this week.
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